I have travelled the world far and wide and met thousands of people in my life. But have I found anyone who is truly happy? My answer is yes! And I might add: “few but good.” Among the truly happy people I have known, most were old.
So why is old age seen only as a source of ailments and negative things? Looking at my friends around the world, I can say with certainty that long-lasting happiness is about your attitude to life, as well as your choices.
I stopped to think about this and concluded that there were some commonalities among the 10 truly happy people I have met in my life. And I’m talking about people between the ages of 80 and 108. These are the results of what contributes to building lasting happiness.
Positivity.
Trying to look on the bright side of life, even in the darkest moments, certainly helps. But you have to train yourself to be positive. My happy friends have lived through at least one world war and several of them have lived through multiple wars, illnesses, and bereavements. But they have always trained themselves to look for the positive side, the spark of light, the beauty even in the shadows. It is not easy to let go of a pessimistic attitude in life. But it is worth it.
Don’t point fingers.
As soon as you stop pointing fingers at others and start focusing on understanding yourself, you have begun the path to happiness. We have enough to deal with what is happening within us, without living in criticism of others. Abandon the continuous flow of complaints, criticism, insults, and stop blaming others. Well, my old and happy friends, I have never heard them criticize anyone or complain constantly.
Live in a state of gratitude.
To stop complaining and criticizing, you just need to learn to live in a state of gratitude. This too is a form of training. When you are grateful, you are happy. One of my 108-year-old friends walks to the cemetery every morning to express his gratitude to his parents and ancestors for the gift of life. He stops at the shrine to thank God, and as soon as he sees me, he thanks me for what my grandparents did to help him in the parish (in the 1950s). Being grateful for access to healthcare is a rare thing. Being grateful for a smile, for every leaf, flower, reflection in the lake, are paths to happiness.
I wrote a short article, if you want to read it here: “Three weeks to live a little happier.”
Spiritual life.
All my old and happy friends have, or had, a deep spiritual life. Some are priests, Christians or of other religions, others are teachers of life. To grow up happy, the inverse proportion applies: the more you grow, the less you should worry about “worldly things,” and the more space you should leave for your relationship with God, with the one who created us, with the path of prayer and awareness. The more time passes, the more we should learn to live in the “here and now” for a happy life.
And then, learning to understand that we are not responsible for everything, but that there is a Creator Father who also takes care of us, is vital. Let go of the anxiety of wanting to keep everything under control and entrust our lives to God, to be happier.
The mind: curiosity and enthusiasm.
To grow old happily, it is important to keep your mind alert and attentive, awake and dynamic. The best medicine for this is enthusiasm, that force that makes you start new things every time, that makes you appreciate every blink of an eye, that makes you step out of your comfort zone to explore unknown areas. And it’s not just about traveling. Even a new course, learning a new language, or starting a new collection can refresh your enthusiasm. Let’s contemplate art. Let’s live in beauty. Emotions to Generate Change.
The body.
I didn’t put it first because my happy friends didn’t base their lives on body worship or obsessive attention to every symptom or dysfunction. They live, accepting illness, letting time trace wrinkles on their faces, welcoming even pain. To be happy, we must welcome transformation, even in the body.
But there is something we can and must do to keep our bodies healthy, and that is movement. Every day we start the day with half an hour of exercise, we walk, we play sports. It is possible at any age, without limits. One of my friends played sports even when he was bedridden, moving his hands and feet. Life is movement. Happiness is movement.
Food
And here we come to another fundamental point. Food helps us to be happy and live better. As soon as we connect with real food, we can savor something unique: freshly ground flour, eggs from the chickens behind the house, honey from the neighbor’s bees. And the connection with the earth, the wind, the water, the sun, and the air brings us closer to ourselves and to the Creator, in a dance of happiness. If we avoid processed foods, we build one of the pillars of well-being. The same is true if we carefully choose foods that are suitable for every stage of our lives.
None of my happy friends overeat. Learning discipline in food and in life is a great help. Don’t smoke, limit wine to a few glasses of the good stuff, reduce cooked fats… The list is long. Inner discipline is one of the keys to happiness.
Don’t hold anything back, so you can grow old and happy.
And finally, I have found that all my happy friends are people who hold nothing back: no memories, no relationships, no grudges, no jealousy. They let go, they overcome everything by observing the autumn leaves, let go by the wise trees.
And not holding on also applies to material well-being. To be happy, sharing and helping others is essential. I have never met a happy man who is stingy or focused only on himself. No, my happy elders are people who have learned to live with little, but in beauty and sharing.
Growing old can be scary, but it can also be an opportunity to learn to be happy.
